Mike Johnson, Speaker of the House and evil twin of Clark Kent, says that even though there’s no evidence, “We all know intuitively that a lot of illegals are voting in federal elections.”
This during a week when Republicans push the HOOHA Act to protect your appliances (no, not those appliances — they’re illegal in Texas. Kitchen appliances.) And the second weirdest candidate for President has actual brain worms?
Whoever’s writing the 2024 season of Earth isn’t even trying.
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Anyway, here are some more things we “know intuitively” with exactly the same amount of evidence as Mike Johnson’s “illegals voting” claim:
MTG blew off her toes when she tried to manufacture pipe bombs using the Speaker’s gavel and a Tesla battery.
Dick Cheney is still alive because he drank Henry Kissinger’s blood.
Alex Jones is actually a pile of rusty car alarms in a trenchcoat.
57% of registered Republicans cannot tell the difference between a ballot and a pop-tart.
Dyson voting machines are programmed to email Newt Gingrich a Bronx cheer every time someone of non-porcelain skin tone votes.
Ted Cruz’s trip to Cancun was so he could secretly bury the bodies of….but I’ve said too much.
Feel free to add things that you know “intuitively.”
On to Top Comments!
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From belinda ridgewood:
In this morning's APR by Chitown Kev, there were two very incisive comments by rugbymom: one that perhaps not everyone will agree with, about the limits to Pres. Biden's ability to fix the Middle East, and another, which I think will draw universal nods on this site, about ridiculous media polling.
From your humble (if antisocial) diarist:
In Sepiasiren’s discussion of man vs. bear and what women have to do to protect our own physical safety, there are always people who want to prioritize men’s feelings first. Clio2 does a really good job of breaking it down.
From Northern Pol:
Perfect framing by Rexxmama of a GOP Primary candidate found 'Winning while dead.' This GOP candidate left it all on the field. Literally. ... and won!
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